Feeling Better

Time seems to have slipped through my fingers. I had my last Chemo treatment on Dec 2 and my body is slowly getting back to normal, well as normal as it will ever be. I did ask if there was another Chemo drug that I could have but was told that the one I was receiving was the only one that would be appropriate. So I cancelled all treatments. I have lost the feeling in one side of my right foot, my eyesight and my hearing have been damaged by the Chemo and I still get tired very quickly. But I am feeling so much better than I was so that is a very good thing and it reassures me that I have made the right decision.

Thanks to everyone who sent encouraging messages, gifts and support. I really do appreciate it.

Welcome 2018

Well it has been a while since I have visited this site. December was not a good month, more reactions to the chemo and these were much more severe than during the previous cycle. Fortunately I was feeling a bit better by Christmas so we had our traditional Christmas dinner, turkey and all the trimmings. We had our meal cooked by mid afternoon so we ate when the food was ready. Just as well as the power went our for 12 hours at 4:30 p.m. And then we didn't have phone for four days and we were also without Internet for five days. Everything was restored and working well when another storm blew through in early Jan and we lost power again for another 12 hours or so. No damage done to either our place or the neighbours so all we suffered was a little inconvenience.

I have a doctor's appointment (I have no idea who it is with) on Tuesday and after that I will know more about what the future holds. I will post an update with the results/decisions that come out of that appointment.

Thank you to everyone for your support and concern, I do appreciate the warm wishes and the encouragement.

Second Chemo Treatment and Various Other Things

Wednesday, Dec. 6 was my second Chemo treatment. It was another long day from 8:30 a.m. until 3:15 p.m. During the treatment I added two more health care providers to my team, bringing to total now to 21. That is way too many people for me to keep straight, especially since I have never been very good at remembering names. I am starting to see some patterns that are reoccurring during the treatment cycles. For example, the nights immediately following the treatments I get very little sleep, which is one of the side effects. The anti-nausea pills that I have been given are not as effective this time, the nausea has already started and this is only Friday. Well maybe that means it will end quicker. Fingers crossed on that one.

I was feeling a bit at a loss about who to turn to with questions, there are so many who want to give me answers and information, but I have only seen some of them for five or ten minutes and I can’t remember their names. The best solution seemed to be to make an appointment with Renate Bennett, the Nurse Practitioner in North Queens Medical Centre. She was the principal care giver that I went to when I started down this medical journey and she was understanding, supportive and she treated me like a person and she is a familiar face AND I can remember her name. What more recommendation did she need? My appointment was on Thursday, Dec. 7 and that may have been the smartest thing I have done so far to help myself through this. She listened, she answered questions and she asked if I would like to have a monthly meeting with her while this whole mess is going on. She got me a copy of my pathology report and she explained some of the scarier facts about the report. She is a keeper.

I am not ready to share much info about the report at this point, but I will say that the cancer cells that have invaded my body are aggressive and they have been there for a while. Enough said on that.

My hair is getting very thin so when I go out in public I am wearing either a hat or one of my stylish wigs. Frank and I are meeting a very good friend for lunch next week, I wonder if she will recognize me. Well, Frank is just as good-looking as ever, so I guess she will find us okay.

I think this is enough from me for today. But please stay tuned I will be back in the next couple of days with my thoughts on what not to say to someone who says they have cancer. My thoughts only as each of us is different and we all handle things differently and we all expect different things.

The Process

A visit to my Nurse Practitioner, tests, referrals and finally the results...I needed to have a hysterectomy. A surprise when I was feeling just fine, thank you very much. No pain or discomfort, just a discharge that wasn't normal.

On October 4, 2017 I was gutted like a fish and stapled back together and sent home to recover and to wait for the results of the pathology report which would take approximately three weeks. By late October I received a phone call from my surgeon telling me he was arranging a face-to-face with me to discuss the results and the next steps which would include Chemo and Radiation. Up until that point I kept hoping that this was all a mistake, that my records had been mixed up with someone else's, that I would wake up and by some magic this would all go away.

During the time from mid July when the craziness started and Nov. 16 when my first cycle of Chemo started I was on an emotional roller coaster. I avoided talking to people and told maybe a dozen people in total what was happening. Three of them were safely out of province so I wouldn't see them or have to talk to them face-to-face. I found that I started crying at the most insignificant things and that most of the people I had told had no idea of what to say or do. I have come to realize that I needed to provide them with some idea of what I needed from them, but then I have always had trouble asking for help. Hell, I can't even accept help when it is offered.

So far in this journey I have a health care team of 19 people which includes doctors, my nurse practitioner, nurses, residents, and administrative support people who will direct inquiries and probably make sure that information is flowing as needed. I have at least 2 1/2 inches of paper on the effects and side effects of Chemo and radiation, each piece of information more overwhelming and scary.

Since the Chemo started I have settled down emotionally, in fact yesterday I realized that my husband and I were actually laughing out loud at some silliness. Laughter hasn't been heard much in our little house for the last several months.

I am going to continue to write about, and share my experiences, because hopefully my ramblings will help someone else. I hope a few people will read my posts and share this journey with me. And please if you know someone who may be going through their own personal hell maybe share this with them.