The Process

A visit to my Nurse Practitioner, tests, referrals and finally the results...I needed to have a hysterectomy. A surprise when I was feeling just fine, thank you very much. No pain or discomfort, just a discharge that wasn't normal.

On October 4, 2017 I was gutted like a fish and stapled back together and sent home to recover and to wait for the results of the pathology report which would take approximately three weeks. By late October I received a phone call from my surgeon telling me he was arranging a face-to-face with me to discuss the results and the next steps which would include Chemo and Radiation. Up until that point I kept hoping that this was all a mistake, that my records had been mixed up with someone else's, that I would wake up and by some magic this would all go away.

During the time from mid July when the craziness started and Nov. 16 when my first cycle of Chemo started I was on an emotional roller coaster. I avoided talking to people and told maybe a dozen people in total what was happening. Three of them were safely out of province so I wouldn't see them or have to talk to them face-to-face. I found that I started crying at the most insignificant things and that most of the people I had told had no idea of what to say or do. I have come to realize that I needed to provide them with some idea of what I needed from them, but then I have always had trouble asking for help. Hell, I can't even accept help when it is offered.

So far in this journey I have a health care team of 19 people which includes doctors, my nurse practitioner, nurses, residents, and administrative support people who will direct inquiries and probably make sure that information is flowing as needed. I have at least 2 1/2 inches of paper on the effects and side effects of Chemo and radiation, each piece of information more overwhelming and scary.

Since the Chemo started I have settled down emotionally, in fact yesterday I realized that my husband and I were actually laughing out loud at some silliness. Laughter hasn't been heard much in our little house for the last several months.

I am going to continue to write about, and share my experiences, because hopefully my ramblings will help someone else. I hope a few people will read my posts and share this journey with me. And please if you know someone who may be going through their own personal hell maybe share this with them.